Traffic cops

Posted by Admin on April 13, 2004

I just can’t put into words how annoyed I am at the fact that NYC uses parking tickets to generate revenue. Let’s face it: fines – these monetary penalties levied by “the people” vs. your sorry arse exist because you do something that isn’t severe enough to warrant being tossed in the can.

But this city has decided it’s going to give social rejects with bully complexes the authority to give tickets. And they do a horrible job! Basically, they slack off as long as possible, and then rush to meet their daily quota as they run out of time o­n their shifts. They give nonsense tickets that the average person must then dispute. And unlike the core justice values of the country, the city extorts money from its residents because you’re guilty of this summons until you s prove this ticket is wrong. The whole process takes about 2 hours, and most people just cough up the cash because it’s such a hassle. You end up loosing out more by missing an afternoon of work than you do by just paying the damn fine.

Don’t get me wrong, these “traffic” morons have nothing to do with the NYPD. I have respect for REAL cops. These traffic skunks formerly known as brownies or meter maids are USELESS!

I went to their web site:

The mission of the Traffic Control Division is to promote the safety and security of all persons who use our City’s streets and highways by, Securing the smooth flow of traffic, Enhancing the safety of pedestrians, cyclists, motorists, and Enforcing all laws that affect the various types of traffic control.

They may have hired someone with 8th grade English skills to edit their site in the past 3 years, but believe me, the above is a copy+paste of what was up there for a long time.

So even their webmaster is incompetent. An elementary school English teacher would faint reading that “sentence”. You’d figure that with the amount of money they extort from motorists, they could hire somebody to write decent English for their web site, which brings me to my point.

Reading their mission statement leaves me numb. I guess some idiot driving 2 miles per hour, straddling 2 lanes and holding up traffic o­n Broadway while eyeballing parking meters embodies their mission.

I HATE traffic cops. They’re not real cops because they’re too dumb to make the cut. These morons do not have the authority to pull you over, but one waved me over once, on Bowery, just North of Canal, and requested my papers; he yapped some nonsense about “my road” while shaking his head left and right, accompanied by a swagger that made George Bush look modest.

The worst is that these leeches on society are too stupid to use their delusion of authority when called upon to do so (case and point: women attacked at Puerto Rican day parade 2002. Traffic cops lacked the initiative and intelligence to radio for a real cop when approached by a victim pleading for help.) The reason you never heard of the want-to-be cop getting canned is because they amount to a security guard with a ticket book and a radio. You know why they have a radio, right? It’s so they can call for help when they manage to piss off someone enough that they’re in line for a well deserved beating.

I wish I could find photos of these idiots writing parking tickets while civilians directed traffic during the blackout in 2003. I couldn’t find the photo anywhere, but it’s referenced here in

Would you believe these excuses for productive members of society actually have a union? It’s funny, becuase on that web page, I quote:

“During the blackout last summer we also assisted traffic control,” says Capt. Corey Gibbons, who coordinates special assignments.

Funny thing is, the exact opposite is true – in fact, Mayor Bloomberg later unconditionally forgave all parking tickets received during the blackout. Even his honor could see just how absurd these people are.

Ahh, I’m done complaining.

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